This is your life
by Makoto Kudou
Summary: Niffer niff niff to you all. Omi swears WAAAAAY too much. Fixed up Chpter 2. thank you lovelybeast!
1. Default Chapter

This is your life  
  
Pairings: None yet...  
  
Warnings: Some implied shonen ai, violence and swearing  
  
Author's note: Okay so it won't be funny... honestly I'll find something that is! Some day... . I don't know if Aya would necessarily cook, but hell... gotta do something in yer spare time besides sleeping, watering flowers, killing, and visiting a comatose sister.  
  
Disclaimer: Hey, if Weiss was mine and NOT Koyasu Takehito's, this disclaimer thing wouldn't exist. Ah it still would. Blanc Croix is French for white cross XD Vicious Howl X could also be described as... Bloody Roar 2!!!  
  
FEAR LEAP YEAR BABIES!  
  
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"Happy birthday Omi-kun!" were the first words the youngest assassin heard, on this, the rarest of all days, February 29th. His eyes were wide with shock, then it dimmed to pleasant surprise. "Thank you so much!" Yohji and Ken with large smiles stood around his bed, holding gifts, while Aya stood at the edge of it, with not a hard glare, but not a wide grin either. "Happy birthday, Omitchi." he murmured softly. "Come on birthday boy, let's getcha a special breakfast!" said Yohji, picking him up under the arms, their much-varied sizes making it possible for Yohji to carry him around. "Itai! Yohji kun!" He was pulled out into the kitchen by two overly hyper men, the third following behind with a slight frown. Omi sat down at the kitchen table, and Yohji ruffled his bed head, then squashed a poorly made crown on his head. (It was actually a Burger King crown turned inside out and spraypainted) Ken whisked over with a plate of pancakes dotted with chocolate chips, coated in syrup and powdered sugar, with bacon and orange juice on the side. "Thank you Aya!" said Omi, smiling at all the wonderful food. Aya blushed a little, "You're welcome Omi..." Aya WAS the resident cook, after all. "And you guys too!" Ken and Yohji smiled at each other with pride. "Now come on! Eat! 18 year olds need their breakfast for fun days!" the tallest declared. Omi nodded, picking up his fork and digging into the pancakes.  
  
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"What?! Closed?!" Indeed, the metal door was down, but the four killers sat in there anyway, laughing and sharing jokes with each other. "Open mine first Omitchi-" said Ken, holding out his present, when there was a knock on the metal sheet. Yohji lifted it up- "Sorry, we're- Oh." Manx walked in, holding a video tape. "Hello boys." "Awww, can't it wait? Today's Omi's birthday, he's finally 18!" "I'm sorry, but this has to be seen first." said Manx, waving the tape. A smile was on her face. They trudged reluctantly into the underground, and even Aya was a little hurt and upset that Persia chose this of all days to launch a new mission.  
  
"Those of you Weiss. Today, as we all know, is a special birthday for someone." Omi's head, once forlorn, shot up and he watched the screen. "He has been waiting patiently, and the day is finally here. Happy 18th birthday Bombay. Your mission is to have fun and relax today. Partiers of the night, don't give him a hangover!" said Persia with a light chuckle. The mission tape ended, and Manx handed Omi a gift, bound neatly in white packaging, with a cross shaped charm on a thin chain attached to the ribbon. "Happy birthday, Bombay." Omi smiled widely, wider than he had all day, and hugged Manx tight. "Thank you so much, Manx! And tell Persia that too!"  
  
"He knows Omi kun, he knows." She smiled, and walked upstairs, leaving the flower shop. Ken ruffled Omi's hair. "You know, Yohji won't be able to call you kid anymore."  
  
"What are you talking about, Siberian? He'll always be a kid to me." Omi stuck his tongue out at Yohji, who then tossed him a soda. "Well, open your presents so we can hurry and have cake."  
  
"Did you make that too, Aya?" said Omi, cracking open the can. Aya nodded, a small smile on his face. Omi picked up the first present, Ken's. "If it's a soccer ball we're all going to hit you, Ken." teased Yohji, remembering his own birthday a few years ago. "Ah, Yohji kun... it's kinda too square to be a soccer ball." Omi opened it, tearing off the wrapping that most likely Aya had to help him with (Ken was a mess with things like that) and cried out in excitement when he saw what it was. "The new Blanc Croix cd! Thank you so much Ken!" He pounced on the soccer freak, hugging him tightly around the neck. Ken hugged him back. "Happy birthday, Omi kun!" Next was Yohji's. It was a simple card, that read on the outside, "The answer is sex and money!" Omi stared at Yohji for a minute. "What. Open it, don't give me that look." Omi opened it, and the inside said, "The question was, what are two things you won't be getting?" Out fluttered a 50 dollar US bill, and there was a scrawled message from Yohji. -Okay... so you DID get money. But don't come to me for sex! Happy birthday, Omi kun! +heart+ Balinese- Omi laughed and hugged Yohji.  
  
"Thank you Yohji kun!" "Happy birthday you little brat." Next was Aya's. It was fairly light, and it's size looked oddly familiar to Omi kun. Then he opened it. "That computer game I've been wanting! VICIOUS HOWL X! Aya- how did you know?"  
  
"Hmm, maybe it was the whole 'Only 2 weeks, 4 days, 8 hours, 27 minutes, and 12 seconds until Vicious Howl X is released! Hey guys! Let's go into the computer store! They might have Vicious Howl X! Aww, come on Yohji kun, I only need 100 more yen to reach my goal of 6400 to get Vicious Howl X! Hey guys, can I rent Vicious Howl X at the vid-'" Ken covered Yohji's mouth with his hands. "Baka! Be nice to Omitchi!" Yohji smirked and licked at Ken's palm. "Eeeewwwww! Yohji kun you're gross! I have vague ideas where that things been, and it's not comforting!" cried the brunette, wiping his hand on Yohji's shirt. "Thank you Aya... " said Omi kun, hugging him. Aya put an arm around Omi, his eyes closed. "Happy birthday, Bombay."  
  
"Now last, is Critiker." Omi flipped open the simple card on top after unhooking the necklace and putting it on. -Bombay. We know that along with the Balinese and Siberian on your side, you will be succesful in your mission of a happy birthday. From Critiker.- Signed below were the names Persia, Manx, and Birman. "That's considerate of them." said Ken with a smile. Omi opened it, and out fell a silvery fountain pen with the name Omi Tsukiyono and a drawing of a freesia engraved into it, along with a contemporary, sleek, also silver-"Diary?" Yohji snorted. "It's called a journal, Yohji kun!" Yohji smirked. "Omi, can I see that pen?" asked Aya. Omi handed it over reluctantly. "This looks like white gold. Very expensive. Very nice." He handed it back, and Omi ran his fingers over the same name that was engraved in the diary. Omi Tsukiyono. With a freesia underneath. He smiled and hugged it. "Now, Ran. I believe cake was involved in this deal?" 


	2. Omi's Journal

This is your life  
  
Pairings: None yet...  
  
Warnings: Some implied shonen ai, violence and swearing  
  
Author's note: Niffer. This second chapter is the nastier one, because as my friend pyrochan said, "something bad always has to happen, ne? -_- yeah- yeah, the world must remain in balance..." I'm mean to Yohji again. Ah well, he's a kink, he doesn't care. # are for thoughts, in case anyone cares.  
  
Disclaimer: Hey, if Weiss was mine and NOT Koyasu Takehito's, this disclaimer thing wouldn't exist. Ah it still would. Blanc Croix still means White Cross... Vicious Howl X could also be described as... Bloody Roar 2!!! Juuhachi is 18 in Japanese, in case you're a dork and A) have never watched subtitled DBZ android eps, or 2) cannot see that through the first sentence.  
  
FEAR LEAP YEAR BABIES! I used Google Language tool to translate the German, so... yeah.  
  
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Omi had been 18 for a few months now, and had earned the fresh nickname of "Omi-juuhachi". Ken blatantly pointed out that it was a good thing Yohji had not assigned their codenames, or they'd all have something stupid. Yohji responded by threatening to use Ken's own weapon on his precious soccer balls, and Ken had replied to this by asking for some dental floss from Yohji's watch to clean his teeth. Aya responded to all this by smacking them both on the heads. Resident peace-keeper between the two buddies, they all knew he only did it to show his own humor. Omi's journal ("Diary!" SHUT UP YOHJI!) had been well used, they noticed, and the pen had remained carefully placed on Omi's desk after he finished with the night's entry. #My thoughts and secrets are safe# he thought to himself with a smile, closing his eyes and curling up to rest.  
  
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But he was wrong. Furiously wrong, but he couldn't begin to comprehend how much, seeing as he was fast asleep, and his eyes were closed, preventing him from seeing glittering objects in the darkness. Five glittering objects, in fact, and occasionally a flash of a sixth.  
  
#Go on, Prodigy, you little pussy. Grab the fucking book and pop the lock.#  
  
#If you call me a pussy one more time I'm gonna pop a lot more than a fucking diary lock.#  
  
#Okay, I won't call you pussy anymore, pussy.#  
  
A loud mental hiss echoed throughout the room as Nagi's telepathic nails dug sharply into Schuldig's testicles, and he was only stopped when Schuldig reached and slapped him across the face.  
  
#Kleines beschissenes japanisches GÃ¶r!#*  
  
Nagi smirked, satisfied(although there was an angry red mark on his cheek) and floated the journal over into his waiting hands. Farfarello licked the knife, grinning... well.... like a madman. "Sneaking into kittens' diaries makes God bleed and angels scream." he muttered quietly. Nagi rolled his eyes, using his mind to pry into the lock. "Goddamn Critiker devices... always make things fucking difficult..." he muttered, seeing the lock in his head and working to pick it apart. Farfarello watched with quiet interest, the right side of his head tilted to the book to see. "Almost got it..." grunted Nagi. Sweat was on his forehead. Critiker HAD to have had him in mine when they made this one. A quiet ping! and the book was open. "Well... what does this kostbare KÃ¤tzchen** have in his head?" the German muttered softly. "Why don't you take a peek while Farfarello and I read this?" snapped Nagi. Schuldig responded by sticking his tongue out at him, and Nagi used his "nails" again on the protruding muscle. "Gott verdammt*~! You should be a kitten!" Nagi picked up his lazer pen and clicked it on, holding it over the page.  
  
03-21-02*~*  
  
I hated last week's mission. It was awful. Awful as fuck.  
  
"Boring..." declared Schuldig, faking a yawn.  
  
03-29-02  
  
Fucking pisses me off that no one fucking understands that I'm fucking hurting on the inside. All of 'em fucking know their fucking pasts fuck even that freaky eye-patch guy from Schwarz knows.  
  
"Hey- he mentioned you Farf." A cold smile spread across the berserker's lips.  
  
-little mother fuckers they all are some days Sometimes I think even the walls are mocking me with their fucking cruel ideAs-  
  
"Geez. He must have had a rough day." muttered Nagi calmly.  
  
-And that brown-haired kid my age in Schwarz has it so much easier than me probably Gets a lot better treatment than I do the fucking German probably does too-  
  
"Bullshit."  
  
"I second that notion, you kleines beschissenes japanisches GÃ¶r*."  
  
"He sure says fuck a lot."  
  
04-15-02  
  
I think something wierd's happening to me.  
  
"Mein Gott, someone give the kid a million dollars, he's found out he's an assassin."  
  
I found myself flipping through the channels, and for some odd reason Aya allowed Yohji to get HBO. This wouldn't have bothered me, if 1) I hadn't been going through the stations, and 2) I hadn't seen what I did. There was a show on called "Six feet under"*~*~. I think it's about people that work in a funeral home. Nice life, huh? Surrounded by dead people. Assassinry (is that a word?) isn't much better.  
  
"Creating new words to describe job titles makes God bleed."  
  
"...."  
  
"....."  
  
"..... What."  
  
"Continue on, gÃ¶r."  
  
So- I started to watch this show, because it was interesting. And then I guess this one guy is gay or whatever, because they showed these scenes of him having sex with another guy.  
  
"Awwww, the katzen likes porn!"  
  
And.... I was watching it in half-interest, half-disgust, and then... for some odd reason, images of me and the brunette from Schwarz-  
  
Schuldig let out quiet snickers, Farfarello smirked, and Nagi's jaw fell.  
  
-Anyway, I had to talk to Aya about it-  
  
Now they all began snickering.  
  
-You should have seen his face. Now that I think of it, it's damn funny. Why would I get an erection from it though? Aya explained because I was watching a sexual activity late at night, the normal time for hormones to produce cum and whatever, and stuff like that. Cus I'm not gay. It was just normal body reaction.  
  
...Right?-  
  
Schuldig and Farfarello stared at Nagi. "What."  
  
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If you want more diary entries, then please give me suggestions of what he'll babble about. X_x sorry. i'm working on the smut, really!  
  
.  
  
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* Little fucking Japanese brat  
  
** Precious kitten  
  
*~ God damn  
  
*~*Yes, i am aware this was NOT a leap year, and Omi would actually be older than 18 if I wanted to be series-wise correct.  
  
*~*~ Kick ass show. Watch it. ALL OF YOU. 


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